By Ben Higgins
This is not intended to be a sob story.
Truth is, I am single, and my friends are all taken. The facts: 70% of my friends are married, and 30% are dating someone who they believe they will marry. And this affects my personal life greatly.
So, I present you with my bourbon-soaked revelations about what it’s like to be the single friend among a bunch of coupled-up folks. I once believed I’d get married before any of my friends. I’d always desired a relationship and sought a partner to attack life with.
Now I look around and realize I am late to the game.
To give you some insight, when I’m not home alone writing a blog entry then you can find me out to dinner as a third or fifth wheel, exploring Colorado with friends, or attending a loved one’s wedding. Recently, I’ve been alone for most of these events. I appreciate alone time and my life is full of people I love. But I feel your pain, single people. Here are my unsolicited observations:
Friends, I need you
I have amazing people in my life. The ones closest to me are God-fearing, honest, intelligent, and caring individuals who’ve invested in me more than I could have ever dreamed. I need them, and I need them outside of their relationships. My advice for singles: Find friends who are willing to navigate life with you no matter your relationship status or theirs. Friends are crucial — we all need healthy, supportive, trusting relationships.
I am fine
Seriously life is good. It really is for us single people. It may not be what we dreamed. But it is still so good… if we let it be. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7-8 that it easier to be single in life if we can control the urges and temptations that exist as a single human. Life as a single person allows us to focus on incredibly important things like our passions, careers, and non-romantic relationships. However, I believe life is richer when we have someone to partner with.
Sometimes, I am lonely
I’m not always lonely; I mean, I’m an only child so I do enjoy my nights alone. But I also love experiencing life with my people. The hard part is realizing none of my people, my closest friends, are mine. I share all of them with someone else. It’s especially evident with my friends who have married siblings; once a sibling finds his or her partner, the relationship with their brother or sister takes a backseat (and it should).
Loneliness can be incredibly beneficial for self-exploration. Use this time of quiet and alone-ness to get to know yourself better. One of the best things in life is when we are no longer a stranger to ourselves… So take the time to get to know you.
I think a lot — probably too much. I’m constantly analyzing where I’m at in life. But then I pull myself up by the sandal straps, take a look at myself, and I like what I see. I’ve identified the parts of me that I love, and I’ve determined the parts I need to work on to be my greatest self. I’m stubborn, and these parts take work. But doesn’t everyone have something to work on?
Someday I hope to meet someone who will help me fix my worst parts while strengthening my best ones, and I’m excited to do the same for her. Love is a crazy thing… Now back to my thoughts.
What’s the best part about being single? The worst?
Image by Freeform/Fred Fuhrmeister