Ben Higgins Becca Kufrin Ashley Iaconetti

The Bachelorette: Ben Higgins Gives Advice to Becca

Miss Becca,

I’m no expert. But, at 25 years old, I began an experience that is a huge part of my story. I didn’t do it perfectly, but I did it. Take my advice or just do your thing — I’m positive you’ll do well.

All this will end

Someday The Bachelorette will be a distant memory. Keep this in mind with every decision you make. It may lead to the love of your life or just another part of your story; either way this is a big deal. And us fans get to watch a bachelorette who is the “salt of the earth.”

Focus on the light

America is rooting for you, and you’ll receive a lot of praise. Don’t let it go to your head. You’ll also receive more criticism than anyone should endure (It happens to everyone.) Don’t let it get you down.

Becca, you’ll feel the negative comments way more than the positive ones. Remember that light overtakes darkness. Focus on the light. Remember where you come from and who you are.

As Chris Harrison once said, “Use this to enhance your life, never completely change it.”

Respond, don’t react

What makes a good bachelor or bachelorette? It‘s all about your reaction. When it comes to struggles or controversy, how will you respond? With patience, grace, and kindness — or the opposite?

Becca, you embody patience and kindness in many ways. Don’t change this. Continue responding to the difficulty of this experience with grace and love. Resist the darkness that can come with sudden fame.

Rest as often as you can

This is simple. Rest. This journey will exhaust you in every way. Don’t get used to being busy; get used to being intentional. Intentionally rest and work each day. Protect time for yourself. 

Ben Higgins Becca Kufrin Nick Viall

In fact, I challenge you to take 12 hours out of a day each week to rest. Start this now, stand firm, and don’t let anyone take it away from you.

Give grace

This world will open you up to a ton of hurt. Fans will ask ridiculous questions. Critics will say hurtful things. Your friends won’t always understand. Your family will feel the pain along with you.

Remember why you signed up for the show. You put yourself in a position to be known. When you put yourself in a place of leadership you gave up the ability to overreact and withhold grace.

Be a grace-giver in all situations.

As the bachelorette you have more influence than you ever dreamed. Remember people are watching and learning from you. What and who do you want to represent?

Final words

Becca, I’ve seen enough to know you are just what this world needs. I pray for your experience and your future relationship. (I hear you’re engaged!) I hope your love expands and joy is the outcome.

Your fan,


What’s your advice to Becca?

Image courtesy of ABC/Fred Lee

You Might Also Like...


  • Reply
    May 30, 2018 at 4:55 pm

    This is so nicely stated. Ben, you are so real and will go down as being one of the most favorite bachelors. Becca, you are exquisite and I’m so excited to find out who is lucky enough to win your heart. You deserve the best there is. ❤️

  • Reply
    May 30, 2018 at 5:24 pm

    Couldn’t have said it better myself!
    Hold on to grace and love ❤️ keep Jesus at the center of it all!

  • Reply
    May 30, 2018 at 5:55 pm

    Wow Ben this is such a beautiful note. A guy with a heart and true relationship with God clearly wrote this. Way to share what you believe. 🙂

  • Reply
    Jordan Walker
    May 30, 2018 at 5:57 pm

    This is so beautifully written. I loved watching you as the bachelor most importantly because of your faith. I believe you have used his experience as a platform to spread God’s love. Great post!

  • Reply
    May 30, 2018 at 6:52 pm

    Ben, you’re about as good as they come. I’ve watched and admired how you took your platform and turned it into something positive, full of goodwill and stayed true to yourself along the way. This blog post is awesome. Be proud. You’re by far my favorite to have come from the “bachelor franchise” because you are real and humble. A breath of fresh air! Keep it up!

  • Reply
    May 30, 2018 at 10:09 pm

    Great advice! I’m not a former bachelorette but grace, kindness and leading by example are what we all should lead with. (Lord knows I’m not perfect but I have nieces and nephews who apparently think I’m cool … so I know they’re watching), but keeping these top of mind is the start.
    Becca… you’re a gem!!! I wish you all the happiness in the world! A journey full of adventure and a life full of love!

  • Reply
    May 30, 2018 at 10:51 pm

    Dear Becca,

    When looking for a life partner on the Bachelorette show, date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier. We can’t wait for the final 🌹! He will be the luckiest man, Becca!

  • Reply
    May 31, 2018 at 12:33 am

    You are too good for this world Ben

  • Reply
    Carmela Lockwitz
    May 31, 2018 at 9:49 am

    This is beautiful, Ben! God bless you.

  • Reply
    May 31, 2018 at 2:21 pm

    This is beautiful Ben! Thank you

  • Leave a Reply